PTSD

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a type of anxiety disorder that's triggered by a traumatic event. You can develop post-traumatic stress disorder when you experience or witness an event that causes intense fear, helplessness or horror.

I'm having some problems with this right now. I had to call my husband to meet me at the park today because I was walking Ayla and started crying, shaking and just...couldn't STOP. I felt completely terrified.
It's hard to explain.
The other night Jerry was watching a show where a couple's little girl disappeared.The mother was on the News crying and pleading,"Please, somebody help us!"
Suddenly, it was MY voice, that morning in the hospital, pressing the call button, pleading,"Please, someone help us"
One of the horrors of it was that you're in a hospital, teams of Nurses and Doctors come running to Codes to save the life of your loved one. No one was coming to save Isaac. You realize that...you're only in there waiting for him to die and that's what's happening, what's going to happen. Then, it happens.

I'm not myself. I'm hyper emotional. l feel terror and fear out of proportion to the event that's happening. I can't help it right
now. I wouldn't leave my house if I didn't have to take Ayla out for exercise. I hate being around strangers who probably think I'm some insane, crazy person. I went through something horrifying and I WAS completely helpless to stop it. It wasn't that long ago. The first few months I was just numb. I'm starting to FEEL those things NOW, to remember. It's hard and I'm doing the very best that I'm capable of doing right now.